April I.

It doesn’t actually matter what the joke was supposed to be nor why Roy said it.

All that matters is that he said it.

There are only two real reasons that somebody would say something like that on television: They are a cruel person who likes to hurt the feelings of others or they don’t actually understand how their words will be heard by some people.

I don’t know Roy Hibbert, the person.

We have had a maybe two dozen conversations over the past three years, all about basketball. He almost certainly has no idea who I am, and these talks were — in every instance — short, at-work conversations for both of us. But he seems like a nice enough young man, and I have heard a ton of respected people say a ton of nice things about Roy’s character and values.

I also don’t know know Roy Hibbert’s feelings on homosexuality. If he harbors any negativity towards gay people, he has never made such feelings public, to my knowledge. Roy actually even supported, through a Twitter message, Jason Collins’ recent decision to come out of the closet.

Even lacking full knowledge, I don’t believe Roy, when he said “no homo” in public, in front of a giant global audience, meant anything derogatory. I don’t think he intended to ridicule or discriminate against a core aspect of millions of people’s lives.

He’s simply ignorant.

He doesn’t know what those words say about homosexuals.

To him, it was a playful joke, one that made him giggle probably more for its inappropriateness in that setting than for its actual humor. But to many others, it was an unnecessary reminder that mainstream society in the United States sees being gay as an abnormal, weird, negative characteristic that no man should want to associate himself with.
That is the foundation of “no homo.” It is telling listeners that, “in case you misconstrued what I said there, I just feel the need to point out to you that I am not homosexual, as that would of course be disgusting, and I am a normal, heterosexual man.”

It’s basically saying “don’t worry, bro, I’m not weird.”

As if there is anything strange or weird about a dude wanting to have sex with another dude.

That’s the implication.

It’s not a playful joke.

Maybe in your own circle of friends, in a private environment in which everyone knows that no ill will towards gay men exists, there is a place for that. It really just isn’t good comedy, but I understand that sex remains funny in that sophomoric way; its forbidden and this started as a Puritan nation and we still don’t show boobs on TV and it makes us giggle. So if you really can’t resist — hell, I mockingly drop a “that’s what she said” on occasion among close friends even though it has some similar, sexist overtones — go for it.

Really, try not to.

It’s basically the same a saying “it was gay” when giving your opinion of a bad movie.

It’s fucking dumb behavior. Really, really fucking dumb.

Just don’t say it.

If you absolutely can’t not say it cause it’s just so goddamn funny to you, sure as shit don’t say it out loud at a restaurant where people who don’t know your intention may overhear it and feel even further alienated than they already do while living in a society that makes them feel like weirdos just because of where they like to put their dick.
And for fuck all, if you’re ever on national fuck television, don’t say that shit under any goddamn circumstances whatsoever.

Are you fucking high?

Teenagers in this country slit their wrists over how difficult it is to be an abnormal sexual being living in a straight society. They jump off fucking bridges. They shoot themselves in the fucking head.
It happens all the damn time.

Is some kid going to kill himself because some insensitive NBA player said something that he found hurtful on TV? Probably not. Shit. I hope to hell not.

But saying “no homo” is part of the problem.

It’s normalizing the tolerance of making gay people feel abnormal. And that can destroy people over time as they are confronted by that societal belief with such frequency. It is ever pressent and never-ending, a constant drumbeat from everywhere, day after day after day.

This one instance of “no homo” may just be a drop of rain in the ocean of shit gay people have to deal with every fucking day.

But it’s part of the problem.

Don’t be part of the problem, Roy Hibbert. I don’t think you want to be. Shit, I don’t even think you know that’s what you just became.
But, fucking A, man.
Charles Barkley is right: You don’t have to be a role model.

But don’t go out of your way to fuck up some kid’s day who was just trying to watch a damn press conference.

That’s just straight-up asshole behavior.

Like those media members who didn’t watch you play all year and didn’t give you credit for being an elite defender, I presume this is all out of ignorance.

You don’t know any better.

Well, I’m not going to presume you’re reading this. But I’m guessing somebody, hopefully somebody employed by the Pacers, will explain all this to you soon. At least explain some version of why it’s wrong to say.

So now you know.

Don’t lose your candor, but speak like a man young fans — no matter who they want to fuck — can respect. Speak like a man who isn’t insinuating that dudes who fuck dudes are abnormal.

Cut the motherfucking shit.

Why Society Still Needs Feminism

Because to men, a key is a device to open something. For women, it’s a weapon we hold between our fingers when we’re walking alone at night.

Because the biggest insult for a guy is to be called a “pussy,” a “little bitch” or a “girl.” From here on out, being called a “pussy” is an effing badge of honor.

Because last month, my politics professor asked the class if women should have equal representation in the Supreme Court, and only three out of 42 people raised their hands.

Because rape jokes are still a thing.

Because despite being equally broke college kids, guys are still expected to pay for dates, drinks and flowers.

Because as a legit student group, Campus Fellowship does not allow women to lead anything involving men. Look, I know Eve was dumb about the whole apple and snake thing, but I think we can agree having a vagina does not directly impact your ability to lead a
college organization.

Because it’s assumed that if you are nice to a girl, she owes you sex — therefore, if she turns you down, she’s a bitch who’s put you in the “friend zone.” Sorry, bro, women are not machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.

Because only 29 percent of American women identify as feminist, and in the words of author Caitlin Moran, “What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? Did all that good shit get on your nerves? Or were you just drunk at the time
of the survey?”

Because when people hear the term feminist, they honestly think of women burning bras. Dude, have you ever bought a bra? No one would burn them because they’re freaking
expensive.

Because Rush Limbaugh.

Because we now have a record number of women in the Senate … which is a measly 20 out of 100. Congrats, USA, we’ve gone up to 78th place for women’s political representation, still below China, Rwanda and Iraq.

Because recently I had a discussion with a couple of well-meaning Drake University guys, and they literally could not fathom how catcalling a woman walking down University Avenue is creepy and sexist.
Could. Not. Fathom.

Because on average, the tenured male professors at Drake make more than the tenured female professors.

Because more people on campus complain about chalked statistics regarding sexual assault than complain about the existence of sexual assault. Priorities? Have them.

Because 138 House Republicans voted against the Violence Against Women Act. All 138 felt it shouldn’t provide support for Native women, LGBT people or immigrant women. I’m kind of confused by this, because I thought LGBT people and women of color were also human beings.
Weird, right?

Because a girl was roofied last semester at a local campus bar, and I heard someone say they think she should have been more careful. Being drugged is her fault, not the fault of the person who put drugs in her drink?

Because Chris Brown beat Rihanna so badly she was hospitalized, yet he still has fans and bestselling songs and a tattoo of an abused woman on his neck.

Because out of 7 billion people on the planet, more than 1 billion women will be raped or beaten in their lifetimes. Women and girls have their clitorises cut out, acid thrown on them and broken bottles shoved up them as an act of war. Every second of every day. Every corner of the Earth.

Because the other day, another friend of mine told me she was raped, and I can no longer count on both my hands the number of friends who have told me they’ve been sexually assaulted. Words can’t express how scared I am that I’m getting used to this.

Because a brief survey of reality will tell you that we do not live in a world that values all people equally and that sucks in real, very scary ways. Because you know we live in a sexist world when an awesome thing with the name “feminism” has a weird connotation. Because if I have kids someday, I want my son to be able to have emotions and play dress up, and I want my daughter to climb trees and care more about what’s in her head than what’s on it. Because I don’t want her to carry keys between her fingers at night to
protect herself.

Because feminism is for everybody, and this is your official invitation.